How to BE HAPPY
This may seem like a strange thing to write about, but this something that has been a life mission for many many years. So if you are one who just wants to be happier, which most of us do, this is for you.
The #1 thing you need to understand is that it is ultimately up to YOU. No one and no future situation is going to give you happiness if you don't already have it. So the phrase, "happiness is the journey not the destination" is sooo true. I thought that if I just moved to Hawaii and lived in the sun and at the beach that I would happy. Well i spent many many days crying in my room in Hawaii. So at this point I had to realize, that I needed to create happiness for myself.
Where do I start? Well I asked for help! I talked to my mom, i talked to my mother in law, i talked to my church leader, I talked with a therapist. And this was not easy for me. I am the kind of person that HATES asking for help. I don't like to admit that I don't have it all together, but I got to the point that I was not handling it, and I did need help.
What I ultimately found was that I was not treating myself with kindness. I am very much a perfectionist (recovering perfectionist is what I like to say now). So if I don't have a career, a perfect relationship, great friendships, and whatever else I thought I SHOULD have, I thought I was a failure. I was constantly telling myself (subconsciously) that I was not good enough, that I was not successful, or whatever else I thought I was falling short on.
I was not giving myself permission to appreciate all the wonderful things that I had and that I created in my life so far. I was letting the negative thoughts control most of my mind. And this is something that I programed into my life from a very early age, and a habit for many many years and decades.
So how do you stop it?
Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.
There are so many different techniques and practices out there, but the one that ultimately worked for me was to think of happy thoughts. Whenever I was feeling down or negative, I would hold a picture in my mind of something that brings me joy. For some it may be a field of sunflowers, or the sunset, or camping with their family, or anything that actually can give you happy feelings in your heart when you think about it.
For me, it is a vision of puppies surrounding me on a beach at sunset. I know it probably sounds crazy but that is my happy thought. It literally brings me joy if I close my eyes and really enter that space.
Another things that helps to create happiness is to work on yourself. Read self development books, listen to podcasts, constantly fill your mind with uplifting and positive thoughts about yourself. Find out who you truly are and bring more of that out.
Stop comparing yourself to others, stop letting others opinion of what you should be or how you should act control you. You are unique, you are special, and there is no one else in the world like you. So find out who you truly are and let it show, with no apologies
This is a process. You have probably built up these negative habits over years and decades, so don't expect overnight changes.. But little by little, you can start to enjoy the now, stop worrying about the future (it isn't here yet) or living in the past (cause its over). All we have in the present and the now. You at this exact moment can choose the thoughts that you allow into your head. Your thoughts create your emotions. Learn to fill your thoughts with happy, grateful, and positive thoughts about yourself, your situation, and your life, and watch how your mood changes.
Id love to hear your thoughts, your techniques, and how you can choose happiness. Leave a comment below :)